Summer (okay, I know it's Spring) Reading

Here's my review

Get 'Em While You Can

The Bad News:
The total wow awesome poetry chapbook Every Laundromat in the World by Mel Bosworth has sold out at Safety Third Enterprises.

The Good News:
There are a few copies left at Powell's.

Get it. Good.

New Year, New Season, Newfound

It's my first post of 2013 and it's the first day of Spring.  Sneaks up fast these days.

 The first post comes with good things.  The sun is higher in the sky, which makes the snow on the ground tolerable.  I'm headed home to Atlanta for a few days tomorrow.  AND I'm super excited to have a piece up at Newfound (formerly Precipitate) today.

While you're there, check out some work by Heather Christle, Robert Kloss, Michael Kimball and everybody else.

Visual Art by Catherine Nelson.  See more in the issue.

Huge thanks to Josh and everyone at Newfound.

Ladies 32 and Under: You Have One More Day

Just found out about and just submitted to McSweeny's Amanda Davis Highwire Fiction Award.  This is for works-in-progress 5,000-40,000 words.  Women 32 and under.  $2,500 and a possibility for publication in the the end.  Deadline is tomorrow, Dec 15.

Find out more here.

Rose Metal Press Goes for Seven

Rose Metal Press puts out some of the best chapbooks around. Always beautiful, always something beautiful inside. Got a collection of short shorts?

not what I meant

 Submit your flash fiction collection by Dec 1st. And you hybrid genre collection by Nov 15.

Happy Halloween from Henri the Existential Cat

Stegosaurus: a tutorial

2012 has been the year of not blogging.

However, I come to you with monster news that needs sharing.

To me, Halloween is the most wonderful time of the year.  Last year, a freak snowstorm and many fallen trees canceled my Halloween mid-costume.  This year, I've had the chance to stretch it out like a holiday weekend, which called for a homemade costume.  I decided to fulfill my childhood dream of being a dinosaur (I dreamed of being a paleontologist too,  but a dinosaur would have been cooler).

I am not a crafty person.  I don't really know how to sew.  I don't own a sewing machine.  I really have to concentrate if I need to cut paper straight.  I can't fold paper in half evenly.  If I can make a stegosaurus costume, so can you.

What you'll need:
1 green hoodie
2/3 sheets white felt
4/5 sheets green felt
black sharpie
a scrap of green material (I just grabbed one in the scrap bin at Joann's Fabric)
fabric glue
needle and thread (optional)
sundry green clothing/shoes (this way you can decide if you are a regular stegosaurus or a slutty stegosaurus) 

Directions:
Cut triangles out of the white felt (depending on the size you want, the number will change) and glue to the inside hem of the hoodie so that the teeth stick our through the "mouth" of the costume.  Press down to make sure they stick.  Let dry for about 2 hours.

While you wait, measure out the size you would like the spikes on your back to be.  Cut out a triangle in the green felt.  Use this as a stencil to cut out the rest of the triangles.  I had four spikes running down my hoodie, which meant I needed eight triangles.

Glue two triangles together, leaving the very bottom without glue.  You will be fanning this part out later so just make sure the majority of the triangles are together, while leaving room to puff them out in the center.  Repeat with each pair.  Let dry for 2 hours.


Watch Hocus Pocus while you wait.

Once teeth are dry, cut out two ovals from remaining white felt.  Use the sharpie to make the iris/pupils.

Try on the hoodie.  Have a very helpful, wonderful person assist in positioning the eyes, marking the position with two sharpie dots. 

and it starts to look HILarious

 Glue the eyes to the hoodie and let dry for 2 hours.

See!  hahaha

 Watch Nightmare Before Christmas or carve a pumpkin while you wait.  Or both.

When the "plates" are dry, very gently (you don't want to pull them apart) pull the unglued sections of the triangles flat, making sure the plates have some room inside of them and will stand up on their own.  Line the inside of the base with glue and press into the spine of the hoodie. Repeat.  Let dry for two hours.

While you wait, roll the fabric scrap into a tube.  Measure it from the bottom of your hip to the floor (you don't want it to go all the way to the floor unless you like tripping), and cut off any excess material.  Sew (you can probably glue this if you don't want to sew, but it might not hold too well) the fabric tube together with needle and thread.

Use the remaining green felt to cut out a diamond shape for your spike.  Glue to the end of your tail.  Let dry 2 hours.

Watch the Craft.  Think about the one month you were almost a goth in high school.

Once everything is dry, all you have to do is secure your tail with safety pins.  Get your green gear on and rawr!  Happy Halloween!

Welp, there's a Hopeless Monster for you.  No promises on resurgence of posts in 2013, but you never know.