THE HOPELESS MONSTER

2011 Top Ten Hopeless Monster Searches

2011-12-31T10:10:00.003-05:00

I don't like making Best Of lists. This is the closest you'll get from me.

As of December, 2011, these are the top searches that sent people to my blog:

10) jealous people

9) dia de los muertos

8) petah coyne

7) hunting pics

6) dark cloudy sky
Maybe not what they were looking for, but a good find

5) thehopelessmonster.blogspot.com (!)

4) slutty panda (!)
perhaps the most telling search

3) christy crutchfield

2) hunting

1) hunting pictures

Apologies to all you hunting enthusiasts who find my blog. This blog might not be helpful to you, but you just might like my fiction.

Happy New Year!

This Helps With Holiday Stress

2011-12-23T09:13:00.002-05:00

Thanks for this, Eric.

In Other News

2011-12-04T19:03:00.004-05:00

Highlights from the weekend:

1) Good mail:

I received Matt Salesses' The Last Repatriate just in time. Handed back my final student's research paper, and this book will be a much pleasanter read.

2) Happy Birthday, jubilat:

jubilat celebrated it's 20th issue and 10th birthday, along with their changing of the guards, at Flying Object. Great readers, records, prizes, and cookies.

3) 2 Minutes Faster:

Today marks my runner birthday. I am 1 in runner years. This year's bigger, badder Hot Chocolate Run featured running bananas, candycanes, vikings, one dude puking on the side of road, and lots of money raised for Safe Passage. Oh, and good company. And lots of hot chocolate.

4) Christmas:

As much as it confuses the people who know me, I love Christmas. I usually save it for when I visit my folks in Atlanta, but this year we have our first apartment "tree." The ornaments are earrings. The presents make good Christmas presents. The cross-stitch was stitched by my favorite person.

5) Plans:

I'm super excited to be reading next weekend alongside Edward Mullany, Arda Collins, and Mel Bosworth. We'll be offering up words, spiked cider, and homemade Christmas cookies.

** Dec 10th ** 8pm ** Flying Object **

In Other News, it's my last week of classes.

Wigleaf, H_NGM_N, and Vouched Make a Shitty Week Better

2011-11-09T18:45:00.006-05:00

Even though I've been stuck conferencing all week (apologies to the students who got me after sundown tonight), it's been a nice week in the writing world.

Super huge thanks to Scott Garson and Wigleaf for publishing both my short AND my postcard.

More super huge thanks to Laura Straub and Christopher Newgent for Vouching both my wigleaf short and my H_NGM_N poem.

Final super huge thanks to coyote-wolves for existing.

Here's a picture of me and Lucille.

These are Real!

2011-11-07T20:40:00.002-05:00

coyote-wolves!

And We're Back

2011-11-06T20:31:00.004-05:00

My posts are getting fewer and farther between. Between three classes worth of grading and Snowmageddon power outages, I've fallen way behind. Here's a quick catch up.

Big thanks to Nate Pritts and H_NGM_N for including my poem in Issue 13. So glad to be in such good company (Anne Cecelia Holmes, Mike Young, Gale Marie Thompson, Ben Kopel, M Bartley Seigel, Bryan Beck, it keeps going).

Bigger thanks to great hosts and writers Edward and Anjali Mullany for inviting us to the release of If I Falter at the Gallows (Publishing Genius). This is one of the best books I've read in a while. You need this book.

You also need to check out Edward's fellow readers from last night: Lily Ladewig, Mel Bosworth, Stephanie Barber, and Robert Lopez.

I'm super proud of the latest issue of Dark Sky Magazine. This is the first issue with the new staff, and more exciting issues will be on the way. Super great writing and images in this issue. Well worth your time.

The Five Lost Senses of Carl--a short e-book by Mel Bosworth and me--has been getting some love and downloads. Thanks to everybody who's read or linked. You can find it for free here. You can always throw Deckfight a little money while you're at it.

Full of delicious NY food and already missing NY friends. Back to the students tomorrow. Goodnight, internet. Hopefully I'll see you sooner than later.

Apples and Monkeys

2011-10-21T16:00:00.004-04:00

Huge thanks to Jessa and the good folks at Monkeybicycle for posting my short "Toes Were Made for Tree Climbing" today.

Here are some folks back home who inspired the story:

Really excited to be included in the Monkeybicycle family.

Smell No Evil

2011-10-10T11:37:00.003-04:00

The good folks at Deckfight just released the cover for The Five Lost Senses of Carl, a tiny e-chapbook by Mel Bosworth and myself.

You can download your FREE copy soon soon soon. And you can always drop them a donation. We'll keep you posted.

Thanks, Deckfight!

October Sky

2011-10-02T21:12:00.003-04:00

Big thanks to Hobart for featuring Dark Sky in their recent issue. M Thompson interviews Kevin Murphy about the press' start, its recent good news, and its future.

I should mention that besides the addition of Gabe and I, Dark Sky is lucky enough to now have Sarah Boyer and Brian "the Hawk" Mihok on the magazine staff.

The October issue will be out soon. Want to see yourself in a coming issue? Send us something.

It's October. Here's some music:

Things: Recent and Upcoming

2011-09-26T14:40:00.003-04:00

I haven't been the best poster these days. I would like to attribute this to my hard work as a teacher and writer, but it's really my own laziness. So here are some things. Things I checked recently out that I think you should also check out.

The nice people at Housefire posted a story of mine today.

Speaking of Housefire, if you haven't ordered Nouns of Assemblage yet, do it. It's a nice looking book.

The last of the matchbook Google ad stories are up. Try to search for the stories, but don't click on the ads.

Coming soon: amazing poetry book and chapbook by Gale Thompson and Anne Cecelia Holmes respectively.

Flying Object is turning 1 on October 1st, and you can help them celebrate.

Nate Pritts will tell you sweet nothings if you order book.

Edward Mullany's If I Falter at the Gallows is both hilarious and terrifying.

Oil Changes is on the farm!

The Lit Pub is back.

Cooking is cheaper than junk food, and especially awesome during the fall harvest.

Have you ordered this yet?

If you buy a ukelele now, you'll probably be better than I am by tomorrow.

I had dreams about this movie and the opening song in my head for days.

Fleet Foxes put on a great show. Their harmonies make me miss my former singing life.

I'm sure I've left something major out. Let me know, I'll happily add it to the list.

Happy Fall!

New Look, Same Great Taste

2011-09-20T09:07:00.003-04:00

Check out the new magazine staff.

I've been a big fan of Dark Sky for a while and am super excited to be part of the team, especially since this happened.

So send me your best fiction. Or send Sarah your best poetry. Or send non-fiction. Just make sure best is in there somewhere.

For Mimi

2011-09-12T15:51:00.002-04:00

Time is Running Out

2011-09-07T17:14:00.002-04:00

Mel Bosworth's Freight, which Publishers Weekly called "subtle and delightful...fantastically innovative," will be released on Fri, Sept 9 (woo hoo). This means you only have 2 days to save a lot of money by pre-ordering. Shipping for only $1, no matter where you live.

Michael Kimball calls it "a formally inventive novel."

Brian Allen Carr calls it "the kind of bed time story that big people need to hear. Something to remind us that before the bullshit hit, we could nearly be considered real."

I call it the Best Looking Book in 2011.

Order it here.

Nouns of Assemblage

2011-08-24T08:19:00.003-04:00

Big big thanks to Matty Byloos and Housefire for including me in their project Nouns of Assemblage.

HOUSEFIRE PRESENTS: NOUNS OF ASSEMBLAGE from Riley Michael Parker on Vimeo.

As you can see, there are lots of animals, collective nouns, and ridiculous writers in this book. Find out more here. Order it here.

Community Supported Bloggin'

2011-08-23T09:48:00.002-04:00

There's a good chance many of you readers know Jono Tosch--poet, food blogger, collager, pickler, uke picker.

There's a better chance many of you readers know Stanley Crawford--author of five novels (including one of my favorite books), author of three works of nonfiction, cultivator of tons and tons of New Mexico garlic.

But did you know that the two will be reunited this September?

Jono is packing up his station wagon, saying goodbye to his garden, saying thanks-but-no-thanks to a semester of online teaching, all to do what we all (at least I) wish we could do. He's taking a cross country road trip from MA to NM, volunteering sweat and accepting calluses, for the love of garlic.

Even better, we get to live vicariously through him. Jono is bringing his blog Oil Changes with him. He's created not just a fundraiser, but an idea--Community Supported Bloggin'--which has allowed him to take the semester off to do this. The deal: we help him afford the trip, he delights us with roadblogs and farmblogs. And if you've ever read Oil Changes, you know this are some posts you'll want to spend time with.

He's only $500 away from his goal of $2,000, and he's set to hit the road in a couple of weeks.

You can help him top off that last tank of gas by clicking the gas can on his blog.

Sometimes the People I Like Make Me Jealous

2011-08-22T22:00:00.006-04:00

But in the end, I know they deserve it.

Antique

2011-08-14T13:30:00.004-04:00

I inherited a collection of beautiful (and historically interesting/possibly controversial) antique reference books. Unfortunately, they can't make the move with me in September. I would like you, gentle reader, to have them.

You can find them here.

Contact me with any questions or to let me know you're a Hopeless Monster follower.

Thanks!

I Know, I Know, I'm a Stereotypical Twenty-Something Writer

2011-08-08T20:14:00.004-04:00

But I've really loved listening to the new Beirut that's streaming on NPR.

And, yes, I did this while eating local goat cheese and drinking red wine.

Who knows, tomorrow I may to listen to it while drinking fair trade ice coffee.

I've come to accept this about myself. You might as well, too. Thanks to LL for letting me know about the free listen.

What I Learned at Summer Camp

2011-08-06T12:00:00.005-04:00

I was a camper for years, and a way-too-dedicated camp counselor. But I've never taught kids in the classroom. This summer I worked at a camp for the gifted, teaching public speaking to elementary schoolers, creative writing to ESL high schoolers, and improv comedy (yes, really) to elementary and middle schoolers.

Teaching kids is very different than teaching college students. This past month, I've learned some things:

1) You must schedule in at least five minutes per class to say, "Okay, listen up, okay, shhh, Morgan" and "Okay, so now we're going to talk about--Morgan, Morgan?" and "Okay, so who's ready to try--Morgan, you need to sit up here next to me."

2) Virtually every speech will be about soccer, the environment, or Greek mythology. However, other topics will include "Chuck Norris" and "The History of Fashion from the 90s to Modern Times."

3) A child can never tell you enough about amber.

4) Twelve-year-olds will describe you as funny and cool, which is the opposite of how they described you when you were twelve.

5) Students will make observations like, "YoonSeok is chubby, in a cute way" and "Ms. Christy, some of these improv clips are a little inappropriate for children, don't you think?" and "This class would be better if we got rid of the hesitant kids."

6) ESL students will really surprise you. Here's an example.

7) Whether it's academic camp or not, there should always be time for arts and crafts.

8) High school students from every culture will not let on that they like you or class until the last day.

9) Elementary school students are not afraid to tell you how much they love you, every day, until you are uncomfortable.

10) Nine-year-olds are not very good at improv.

11) Every day is better when homemade chapbooks are involved.

12) Kids are pretty awesome.

13) You could never do this full time, and you now have even more respect for the people who do.

How Good Men are Supposed to Work

2011-07-24T08:48:00.005-04:00

Another excerpt from How to Catch a Coyote has found a home. I'm super excited to have "How It's Supposed to Work" included as part of The Good Men Project's Weekend Fiction.

Huge thanks to guest editor xTx, whose own Weekend Fiction you can see here. More huge thanks to fiction editor Matthew Salesses who also writes some great blog posts about fatherhood on Good Men.

A nice distraction from some hard news this weekend. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the attacks in Norway. Still searching for an article to help me process it. If you've found one, let me know.

But the good news to wake up to today is this. Congratulations on your long overdo rights, lovebirds.

Summer Reading: (mostly) Internet Edition

2011-07-05T18:37:00.004-04:00

I'm house sitting this month. Some of the best parts of this house are the big yard and porch and the many critters that visit the bird feeders. A hummingbird hovered inches from my face. A toad holds court here at night. I'm less excited about the mosquitoes. Right now, I'm watching three chipmunks chase each other around the potted plants. Summer is good.

The second best part is what has become my reading room. Here are some things you can read in yours.

Emily Petit at Everyday Genuis (currently Evgeny Kissin)

Brian Mihok at SPLIT

Lots of folks at Dark Sky Magazine, including but not limited to: Heather Christle, Zachary Shomburg, Mark Leidner, and Kyle Mccord/Jeannie Hoag. Read Read.

Horse, Flower, Bird by Kate Bernheimer is a living-curl-up-with-non-internet book. And a beautiful one. And a wonderful read. Fairy tales just the way I like them, beautiful and troubling.

"All good animals have secret lives."

As for the folks you've already read--perhaps Amber Sparks, perhaps Roxane Gay--many are battling for the Million Writers Award. Just three more days to vote. Send your favorite to the top three. Get on it.

(un)seen and (un)heard

2011-06-29T08:47:00.003-04:00

I just discovered SOFTSPOT, and now it's your turn. The site "exhibits and explores contemporary work of all media." There's usually a theme to each exhibit and always images that make me wish I were an artist.

The latest exhibit makes me wish I were a better poet. (un)seen and (un)heard matches art with short writings, both exploring the communication of human experience. Great stuff from Emily Hunt, Ryan McDonald, Ben Estes, Ben Kopel/Matt Suss, Rachel B. Glaser, Sara Majka, Mark Leidner, Sommer Browning, and--yes--even more writers and visual artists.

Summer Reading

2011-06-25T09:23:00.005-04:00

disclaimer: I often read books long after their buzz is over. If you have a stack like I do, one that just gets bigger, you will want to add these.

Here are a few I really loved reading in May and June:

Abbott Awaits

Chris Bachelder gives us the perfect summer book comprised of one short for every day of June, July, and August. Abbott faces the everyday with his 2-yr-old daughter, very pregnant wife, and terrified dog. And through Abbott's obsessively contemplative lens, the ordinary is made hilarious, terrifying, and beautiful.

"Like many others before him, Abbott discovers, once married, that marriage is a battle--clinically, a negotiation--over possession of the Bad Mood."

They Could No Longer Contain Themselves

This collection of flash fiction chapbooks--the winner of Rose Metal Press' 3rd Annual chapbook contest and the finalists for their 4th Annual--reminded me that good flash fiction is incredibly hard to write and incredibly rewarding for the reader. These chapbooks are written with care and purpose, with surprising language and just-right turns. This is the kind of collection that will make you want to write, especially Mary Miller's:

"At night she'd lie in bed and feel her bones and hate herself, remembering the times she had hit on men when she hadn't known she was fat."

What the World Will Look Like When All the Water Leaves Us

Q: A woman is unhappy in love and life and searching for who she is. How do you make this story new?
A: Sea monsters.

Laura van den Berg's stories are well-crafted and thoughtful. They're what I'd call traditional short stories, domestic stories. Except for those pesky Loch Ness Monsters, Indonesian Death Masks, and Bigfoot impersonators. This collection is full of science, research, myth, and
people.

"I know what she is drawing--the same thing the villagers have been sketching in the ground for the past week, when rumors of disappearances in the forest began to spread."

One Hell of a Headline

Well done, New York, well done.

"The marriage bill, whose fate was uncertain until moments before the vote, was approved 33 to 29 in a packed but hushed Senate chamber."

If you're always on top of your reading list, here are some books to look for in the fall.

Freight by Mel Bosworth

Pre-order to save on shipping, get the book BEFORE its release date, and get a signed copy from a very handsome man. I pre-ordered mine. Your turn.

Edward Mullany's book of poetry, If I Falter at the Gallows, will be released in October by Publishing Genius.

Keep your eyes open for details. Check out Edward's creepy and awesome tumblr while you wait.

Happy reading. Happy Summer.

Hey, Did You Pre-Order This?

2011-06-15T12:30:00.002-04:00

Because you should. Shipping is only $1 for pre-orders and you'll get a nice surprise in September.

Wanna know more? Check out excerpts and well-deserved blurb.

Check out Mel Bosworth.

Okay, go.

Collaging

2011-06-14T13:51:00.003-04:00

I'm super excited to have my story "Old Penny" in Issue 23 of the Collagist (not be confused with this collagist).

As always, there's lots of awesome writing in here, and they've brought back the classic reprint. Enjoy!

Big thanks to Matt Bell for publishing another piece from my project How to Catch a Coyote.

You can find other Coyote excerpts here, here, here, and here. Guess it's time I sent this thing out, huh?

Advice for a Gray Saturday

2011-06-11T20:19:00.009-04:00

1) When life gives you this

go here

use this

bring good company

and don't forget this.

If you're still a little buzzed when you get home, take a break. Read what everyone's suggested to you, then go here.

2) When life gives you this

hmmm...

add these

and these

and make this*

Feeling better? I am. Happy Saturday.

*I used less sugar and added soy sauce and pea shoots.

Limited Time Only

2011-06-06T09:39:00.003-04:00

The Dark Sky Print Issue in online. But not for long. Only until it's printed.

I'm so excited to have my piece "A List of Fears" included:

A) Because it's part of my novel "How to Catch A Coyote".

B) Because I get to share the magazine with writers like Mike Young, Robert Lopez, Amy McDaniel, Kendra Grant Malone, and lots of others.

C) Because the artwork is really fun, including prints of people "covered in bees!"

Check it out today. Order it for tomorrow.

And if you didn't see last month's headline project, check that out too.

AND if you want to see more great art matched great stories, check this out.

Thanks, Kevin and Brian!

Vacation

2011-06-02T10:56:00.020-04:00

anna maria

resident

test

specifically

sometimes

mirror

weather

hello

moat

art

advice

energy

-ville

monsters

reading rainbow

booty

7/11ths

Internet Shenanigans

2011-05-18T09:54:00.003-04:00

I'm slow to embrace technology. A friend laughs at me for having the same phone--not a smart phone--that I had when I met him, I only discovered Netflix Instant last year, and I'm afraid of Kindles.

But damn, folks, the internet is fun. This week, I've participated in two internet shenanigans. One for an art experiment and one for social change:

Matchbook Ad Stories

matchbook decided to run an experiment in "an attempt to use the advertising system to work for art rather than against it." So they asked for submissions of very short stories in the form of Google Ads (ya know, the ones you see on the sides of your search bar). I was lucky enough to have mine chosen.

Here are the five ads out and about on the internet.

Some sample search terms: internet fiction, twitter fiction, fat people, spider, family plot.

See if you can find them, but DON'T CLICK ON THEM. Each click means the good folks at matchbook have to pay.

No Dirty Gold, Costco

The good folks at Change.org have been pushing major American gold distributors to only sell responsibly sourced gold (no child/forced labor, no harmful chemicals), and over 70 suppliers--including Target--have made a commitment. Unfortunately, after over 27,000 people petitioned Costco, the company still has not budged. So Change.org planned a facebook bomb. See the details here. Visit Costco's facebook page to see the conversations this has started, plus some unrelated posts with very interesting grammar choices.

Want to help? Sign the Change.org petition here. Or make your own comment on Costco's wall.

Thanks, Collagist

Not so much a shenanigan, but a nice surprise. The Collagist announced the results for their 2011 Chapbook Contest. Big congrats to the winners Laura Eve Engle/Adam Peterson and to runners up Traci Brimhall/ Brynn Saito, and Rob Roensch.

There's also a list full of fabulous chapbook finalists, chapbooks I hope to read one day, including Brian Mihok's and xTx's. I was really honored to be on this list with so many great writers. Thanks to Matt Bell and the Collagist.

It's nice to be writing a blog post instead of a cover letter or resume. Now, if we can just get the rain to stop.

Thanks, Wigleaf

2011-05-07T18:10:00.002-04:00

I was nicely surprised this morning when a handsome little bird told me I made Wigleaf's long list of (very) short fiction. Big thanks.

And big thanks to Necessary Fiction for originally publishing the story. This little guy got me started on my novel.

Big congratulations to the many fabulous writers on the long list, like Brian Allen Carr, Gabe Durham, Roxane Gay, Ben Loory, Boomer Pinches, Mary Miller, Amber Sparks, xTx, Mike Young, Carolyn Zaikowski, and--damn--lots more.

Bigger congratulations (am I allowed to do that?) to those who made the Top 50, like Jensen Beach, Matt Bell, Roxane Gay (again!), Matthew Salessess, Amber Sparks (again!), and--yes, yes--more.

Whooo. My link fingers are tired.

Noo and Not-So-New (but important)

2011-05-02T15:23:00.005-04:00

It's Short Story Month and you can find folks celebrating here, here, here, and here.

You can also find Noo Journal celebrating with the goal of becoming, "the cutoff jean shorts of the event."

I love cutoff jean shorts.* It's not summer without cutoff jean shorts. Which is why I was honored to participate. Here's the description of the project. Here's my cheesy contribution about the first short story I ever loved. Thanks, Mike.

In New and Not-So-New News, I'm sure you've all woken to headlines about Osama bin Laden's death. I went to sleep with a fuzziness about what I thought about the White House celebration and America's perspective. I woke up with maybe less clarity. In fact, I've mostly been avoiding coverage all day. But I think this Salon article helps articulate some of what I want to say. Especially:

When we lose the sadness part -- when all we do is happily scream "USA! USA! USA!” at news of yet more killing in a now unending back-and-forth war -- it’s a sign we may be inadvertently letting the monsters win.

It's not a new sentiment, but it's important to keep reminding ourselves.

*Editors Note: Jean shorts must be created from a pair of jeans in order for me to love them. Sorry, regular jean shorts.

Smells Like Juniper

2011-04-12T16:54:00.003-04:00

(disclaimer: I don't actually know what juniper smells like. The past festivals have smelled like wine and poets.)

The 11th Annual Juniper Literary Festival is coming to UMass this weekend. It's one of my favorite weekends here--great book/journal fair, lots of readings, music, food. I pretend it's warm enough to wear a sundress.

This year's theme is New Writers/New Writing.

Hope to see you at some of the following (UMass Fine Arts Center):

Friday April 15
6:30 PM Journal & Book Fair Opening Reception (continues through Sat)

7:30 PM Reading with Sommer Browning, Timothy Donnelly, Michelle Hoover, & Roy Kesey

Saturday April 16
10:30 AM Editors’ Reading featuring The Common, Fence, notnostrums, & 6x6

12:00 PM Keynote Panel with Alice Quinn & Harold Augenbraum, moderated by Robert N. Casper & Brigid Hughes

1:30 PM Reading with Gina Apostol, Joseph Cardinale, Abraham Smith, & Michelle Taransky

2:45 PM Roundtables on Nuts and Bolts: From Manuscript to Book, moderated by Jensen Beach,

& What’s New about New Writing: How the Old and New Meet in New Literature, moderated by Noah Eli Gordon

3:45 PM Roundtables on Changing Conditions: Editing, Publishing, and Promotion, moderated by Monica Fambrough

& To Make It Beautifully: Craft and Design in Book Arts, moderated by Betsy Wheeler

7:30 PM Reading with Cynthia Arrieu-King, Margaret Luongo, Travis Nichols, & Kiki Petrosino

Chapbooks and Co.

2011-04-06T17:12:00.003-04:00

Look what I got in the mail! Just in time for Ben Kopel's birthday. Because We Must is a tiny book with a lot of blood, which is no surprise coming from Ben. I like to think his poems were created when the Hold Steady and Frank O'Hara were listening to the Smiths. It's also beautifully made, which is also no surprise from Brave Men. You can purchase your own Because We Must as part of the Brave Men Press Coin Library.

Read more of Ben's poems here.

In other chapbook news, Deckfight Press sent out a press release for their new e-chapbook Everything that Dunks Must Converge. They also announced upcoming e-chapbooks from J. Bradley, Josh Rank, and Mel Bosworth/Christy Crutchfield (what what?). Watch out for our ridiculous collaboration this summer. Read Bosworth's latest here.

While you wait for these chapbooks:

Brian Allen Carr's "My Second Throat"--one of the best stories that was read to me at AWP this year--is featured at Annalemma.

AND Brian Mihok reads to you at >kill author.

I'm into my second coffee-free week for my month-long trial, and I would like to thank the sun for making functioning possible today.

So Many Things Are Happening This Week

2011-04-04T10:24:00.005-04:00

First off, for those of you in and out of the Valley:

Steve Himmer's The Bee-Loud Glade has been released. It's thinking of visiting you for a while so make some space on your bookshelf.

For those of you in the Valley:

Lots.

James Haug and Brandon Downing (part of the UMass VWS)
Thurs April 7 ** 8pm
Memorial Hall--UMass

Brandon Downing's BETA PEARLS Opening and Fundraiser for Flying Object
Fri April 8 ** 7pm
Flying Object

Luke Bloomfield, Lauren Ireland, Lily Ladewig, and Ben Mirov
Sat April 9 ** 8pm
Flying Object

Poems + Art @ Eastworks
(feat. Caroline Cabrera, Francesca Chabrier, Stella Corso, Brian Foley, Emily Hunt, Anne Cecelia Holmes , and Gale Thompson)
Sun April 10 ** 5pm
Eastworks in Easthampton, MA

Pioneer Valley Symphony Chorus (you can hear me sing a bunch of Ave Verum Corpi, like this one)
Sun April 10** 3pm
Second Congregational Church in Greenfield, MA
and
Sun April 17 ** First Baptist Church in Brattleboro, VT

Hey, Thanks

2011-03-28T22:19:00.004-04:00

This was a nice surprise this afternoon.

Congrats to Mel Bosworth, Sarah Rose Etter, xTx, Roxane Gay, matchbook, and--damn--all the fine writers on the list. It's a mighty fine list.

Check out the stories and jounals. Especially Leni Zumas' piece, which is one of my favorites.

Thanks, Rarely Likeable!

And thanks to PB for sharing this picture of baby Flannery with me:

It's Sunny Even if the News Isn't

2011-03-27T11:24:00.005-04:00

It's only a little above freezing, but it's sunny and I have a cup of Pierce Brothers next to me. Some sunny (and overdue) things for you:

Action Yes features poems by friendly and attractive folks like Francesca Chabrier, Brain Foley, and C.S. Ward.

Emprise is revamped and attractive.

Short Bus is available and attractive.

Edward Mullany at Everyday Genius, attractive.

Brian Mihok finally makes a blog. You an guess what it is.

In other writing news, I think my students are going to research interesting topics this semester, including: Americans in the Middle East, the Death of the Record Store, Charlie Sheen, Possible Effects of the Tsunami, and Michelle Obama's Arms.

One of the reasons I like teaching Comp is that I get a chance to make students think about the world around them. I like to think when we take on a challenging subject that, even if they don't get it or don't try to, there's some seed planted in their brains for later. We've been talking about reliability of sources and news bias, which means we got to read "The Braindead Megaphone" by George Saunders. Here's a passage that feels particularly poignant these days:

The best stories proceed from a mysterious truth-seeking impulse that narrative has when revised extensively; they are complex and baffling and ambiguous; they tend to make us slower to act, rather than quicker. They make us more humble, cause us to empathize with people we don't know, because they help us imagine these people, and when we imagine them--if the story-telling is good enough--we imagine them as being, essentially, like us. If the story is poor or has an agenda, if it comes out of a paucity of imagination or is rushed, we imagine those other people as essentially unlike us: unknowable, inscrutable, inconvertible.

There's a lot going on in the news these days that scares me, that I can't wrap my head around, and though Saunders offers a very small antidote, he at least helps me offer it to my students. And it at least helps that it's sunny today.

I May Not Be That Fast of a Runner

2011-03-20T12:14:00.003-04:00

But for my first 10K--and since I started running 5 months ago--I'm pretty proud.

Thanks, Holyoke St. Patricks Day Road Race. And thanks to my running coach.

And thanks, Wolf Parade.

Must Converge

2011-03-18T22:49:00.003-04:00

I'm a vegetarian who loves taxidermied animals. But I'm also a Georgian who loves Flannery O'Connor. Everything That Rises Must Converge was the first book that made me want to read books. If I were amazing enough to play roller derby, my name would be Flannery O'Slaughter.

If you share my love of Southern Gothic (or of the Inferno, or sculpture, or cool things), you should check out Petah Coyne's work at Mass Moca.

You can also see this:

Photos courtesy of MASS MoCa and awesome.

Why I'm Glad It's Spring Break

2011-03-12T11:59:00.005-05:00

My prompt for our Class Magazine: What is a larger topic we could explore as a class? Do you want to know how a current event might affect you? Do you want to further explore a subculture? Do you want to tackle an issue affecting UMass students? Think about what interests you and, more importantly, what you are interested in researching. This topic should be broad enough so that every student can write a different essay but specific enough so that all these essays can speak to each other.

Student response: I think a larger topic we can talk about is the lack of top-tier sports teams here at UMASS. Everyone always just goes to the tailgates or just to get the free tee shirts.

In class, we tried again:

Me: What about all these proposals concerning reproductive rights, education, and unions?
Student: No, I hate politics.
Me: What if these politics directly affect you or your future?
Student: Nope.

The conversation continued, and after the suggestion, "Maybe we could do something about how cartoons in the 90s were so awesome but cartoons now are stupid," we somehow decided to pursue, "A conversation about major changes in current culture and the varying opinions/theories about them."

Hmm. Actually, well done, students. Well done.

For You to Read While I am Sick

2011-03-05T15:51:00.002-05:00

The good news: we're up to 40 degrees and there is occasionally a glimpse of sun.

The bad news: I am still sick and being a baby about it.

Here are some things that cheered me up. If you're not sick, and you live in a sunny place, I bet these will work even better for you.

New Dark Sky

Bonus Materials for Hobart 12 (can't wait to find this issue in my mailbox)

Pre-order for Hard to Say

Lemon Ginger tea

Matty Byloos at Housefire

MB interviews MB

matchbook Google shenanigans

Blue Valentine

Tissues with Aloe

John Stewart

Ugh. Hurry up, Spring.

Defense

2011-02-26T12:51:00.003-05:00

I defended my thesis yesterday:

Huge thanks to Chris Bachelder, Sabina Murray, and Jed Berry for their helpful and encouraging comments. And to Caroline Cabrera for doing an impression of this video at the bar last night.

War on Women?

2011-02-19T15:04:00.005-05:00

Can't blog about writing today, folks. I'm too mad. I don't get on a blog soapbox much, but here goes:

Congress has not been so kind to women lately. Cutting funding for food for low-income pregnant women, hopes to cut HeadStart funding, hopes to change the legal term for victims of rape to "accusers" while victims of burglary remain "victims" (really, Georgia, stop embarrassing me), redefining rape:

The Daily Show - Rape Victim Abortion Funding
Tags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

I'm still not sure how this has anything to do with creating jobs, but the House voted to cut federal funding for Planned Parenthood.

I was raised Catholic, and I understand the confusion and fuzziness when it comes to supporting abortions (but I think that's where the Hyde Amendment comes in). I think we can all agree that Planned Parenthood supplies necessary healthcare--contraception, cervical cancer screenings, STD tests, breast exams--for women who can't afford it.

When I was a kid, my mother took me to Pro-Life marches. I understand the side of the Pro-Life argument, but I also understand the stigma we attach to women who have had them. I think Rep. Jackie Spieir refutes this stigma best:

Please write to congress.

Better Than a Valentine

2011-02-14T09:05:00.003-05:00

Boy, do I hate Valentine's Day. But, when I have a reason to celebrate it, I end up going along, secretly happy to have a reason to celebrate it. This makes me feel like a bad writer.

Still, you won't see me making jewelry face.

Instead, here are some better-than-Valentines that let me make peace with this silly holiday.

I just picked up Michael Czyzniejewski's collection Elephants in Our Bedroom, which you also need to pick up, and soon. He has an amazing way of mixing the ridiculous and magical with the real, with sweet and sad characters. He particularly writes awkward love well. So funny, with a little blood on the floor. Here's his Valentine:

My wife and I are young and haven't been married long, so we don't wait for birthdays, anniversaries, or Valentine's Day to have sex. But we do do it on those days. Valerie doesn't seem affected by her doctor's visits--she preforms with the same vigor, with the same tenderness and love, never straying too much from what we've both come to expect. Close observations on those days has produced no noticeable variation. If anything, Valentine's Day brings out something special, the romance in the air, the extra fuel. Maybe it's those roses and box of chocolates. But maybe--and I know I shouldn't think this--maybe it's the gynecologist. It could be she's had an occasion to think about her body all day, or perhaps she has a thing for her gynie, and each Valentine's Night, she's thinking of him (or her) when we embrace.

I missed out on Luke Bloomfield's The Dufflebag at AWP but snagged a copy from the good folks at Flying Object. Here's a Bloomfield Valentine:

The Affair I Had With Sweden

The affair I had with Sweden
was a sad little thing gone crazy,
like a girl, like a boy
like a voice in the dark asking anyone there?
Everyone cries on the telephone
except Sweden.
Why aren't you crying? I cried
And Sweden would be silent
and patient and
as time passed I began to see
this was its was way of saying
you are not right for me
and it sent me over the edge.
I don't leave the kitchen ever.
All day I hack food into Swedish shapes.
And you know what else I do.

And, okay, no jewelry face, but you'll probably find me" tasting the shit out of this chocolate."

I Lost A Year of My Life at AWP

2011-02-06T21:12:00.008-05:00

But it was worth meeting all you crazies. Chances are I talked to you at Millie and Al's or at the Lit Party. Chances are what I said to you made no sense.

Or that I was doing something like this.

I don't know how to be less awkward.

There is so much I wish I hadn't missed (just a sample):

1) The Forklift, Ohio/H_NGM_N/Typecast Guerilla reading.
2) Vermin on the Mount
3) the Table X reading
4) Snatching a copy of the Dufflebag
5) Snatching a copy of an early (huh?) Abbott Awaits

But I was entertained by seventeen rockstars at Divination in DC. One of the best organized and performed off-site readings I've seen at AWP. And the only one that got xTx to show her face (err, allegedly?).

Not to mention finally getting to see Roxane Gay and Ben Loory read at the Blip/MMR/PR reading, where I also got to hang my mouth open listening to Sara Lippmann and Kara Candito read. I hadn't read either before, but I will read lots of them now.

Goodtimes representing Keyhole at the Dzanc table and watching the books disappear faster than we could make change. I have to find a new bookshelf for all the Dzanc titles I took home. Plus the new PANK, Our Island of Epidemics, Normally Special, the new Artifice, and more lovely books my brain is too full to think of right now.

Well, thanks, AWP. Back to the real world and healthier choices.

Oh Right, I Have a Blog

2011-02-01T20:22:00.005-05:00

It's been a while, internet.

Seems the start of teaching, snow-malaise, and (mostly) finishing this "book" has taken up my time. Here are some things I've liked while I've been gone:

Jensen at the Collagist. And Jensen getting a well-deserved book published by Dark Sky (along with lots of talent).

I am a Natural Wonder is finally here and free and darling. Nice work, Anne & Lily.

Mihok!

Bosworth continues to be all over the place, and making lists.

Brave Men Press' huge list of beautiful chapbooks, including one by everyone's favorite Ben Kopel.

Winter's Bone

Butternut Squash Mac N Cheese

Snow Days

Running

The newish Broken Social Scene

Actually getting work done on this book

If I can dig myself out of the snow, I'll see you at AWP.

What Mel Bosworth is Carrying

2011-01-13T12:19:00.004-05:00

In Late 2011, Folded Word is releasing the novel Freight by Mel B, err I mean, Mel B.

In early 2011, you can read some fine excerpts at some fine places:

I Lost at Dark Sky Magazine (also available in print issue 1)

I Found at Vol. 1 Brooklyn

I Ate at Blip Magazine (currently pistol mice, formerly rickmagazine, formerly Mississippi Review Online)

Sensing a pattern? I can't wait for "I Read."

But until then, there's always a contest.

Mail before the Blizzard

2011-01-11T23:32:00.004-05:00

iPhoto helps you learn to read backwards.

Got some good readin' in the mail recently:

Snowing Fireflies by Eric Beeny

Look! Look! Feathers by Mike Young

Issue 1 of Dark Sky Magazine by lots of amazing folks.

Just in time cuz I hear we're getting a foot of snow tomorrow.

In Atlanta, they got 5 inches and a snow day. I got to relive Southern snow excitement via my friends' facebook updates. We get a lot of it here in Western Mass, but there's a little Atlanta in me that still gets excited for snow.

I wish I were this excited:

Crazy snow dog! from carrosene on Vimeo.

See more of world's cutest couple/dog/house here.

FF500

2011-01-06T16:22:00.002-05:00

Big thanks to Mel Bosworth for featuring my short on Flash Fire 500.

You could have a short up there. You could even win money for having a short up there.

Starting Off 2k11 Right

2011-01-03T09:18:00.004-05:00

Well, starting the year right three days in, but I never start the first day right.

Big, big thanks to Dark Sky Magazine for printing my story in the January issue, alongside the likes of Amber Sparks, Jamie Iredell, Kendra Grant Malone, and many others. Really excited to dig into this one.

I've been winter-breaking it in the South and am finally headed back north today. Ready for all the flannel, beards, kale, tight pants, snow (maybe), whiskey, and readings Western Mass has to offer. Ready to cuddle with a bear. Ready to get this thesis finished. Not so ready to be in the car again, but maybe I'll pick up a companion along the way.

Before the car, a quick run with this NC crazy:

Merry X-Mas From a Couple Monsters

2010-12-25T14:43:00.004-05:00

Less Material Gifts

2010-12-18T14:07:00.003-05:00

Christmas makes me feel confused and greedy sometimes. Here are some gifts that make me feel a little better:

Change.org has guides for sustainable, positive shopping. And sustainable Holiday Foods.

Oxfam has a great program to donate money with a sense or humor. You can give people poo and crabs! And it still helps communities!

The Norma Herr Women's Center not only helps shelter women, but it also has been helping them write. A very small donation can help supply a resident with a journal.

And there are always books, books, books.

Hey, Fall Semester, This is All I Have to Say

2010-12-12T21:32:00.002-05:00

Turns out Cee Lo Green and I have the same range.

Well, Fall Semester, I also have to say that at least you end tomorrow.

AND I get to end you with two poems up at Used Furniture Review. Thanks, David!

And with the kind folks at PANK continuing to be kind. Thanks to J. Bradley for the interview.

AND with an announcement for everyone to get their short stuff ready and sent to the Flash Fire 500 contest.

I think that's all I have to say.

Take us home, Cee Lo.

LL and ACH are Natural Wonders

2010-12-07T08:30:00.004-05:00

Thanks to Lily Ladewig and Anne Cecilia Holmes for featuring my Natural Wonder poem on their blog this week.

Also, check our the WONDERful poem by Ari Feld.

Soon, you can download and read the collaboration that inspired this blog, when their e-chapbook comes out from Blue Hour Press.

5K

2010-12-05T16:54:00.003-05:00

Apparently, I like running now.

I also like Hot Chocolate.

Maybe this next? Now that I've told the internet, I guess I have to do it.

And now it is December

2010-12-01T21:16:00.002-05:00

Look! Holiday Monsters!

But yeah, December? Really? At least there are words.

elimae's got some weird words by me about bears. See if you can find the Grizzly Man quote in there. While you're at it, check out Luke Goebel, Greg Gerke, Mel Bosworth (speaking of Bosworth, read this), and everybody else. elimae always puts on a good show. Thanks Brandon and Cooper!

New Dark Sky (Hi, Himmer). And Ethel Rohan's Cut Through the Bone is officially available.

If your eyes are getting too tired to read, lots of people are reading to you in the Pioneer Valley this month:
12/2--Lance Olsen 8pm @ UMass
12/8--Seth Landman(!), Lesley Yalen, and Sarah Vap @ Green St Cafe
12/13--Richard Demming, Jeannie Haug (!), and Nancy Kuhl @ Flying Object
12/15--Anne Cecilia Holmes & Me @ Green St Cafe
12/19--Julia Cohen, Lily Brown, and Cynthia Arrieu-King @ Flying Object

NOT IN THE PIONEER VALLEY? People are reading to you all over the country from Dec 11-12 for the Indie Lit Road Show. Click Click!

December also means my green grading pen is running out, my students are lazy as hell, my thesis is still unfinished, I might just run in the snow, and I'm not ashamed to say I'm already listening to Christmas music.

It's Never About the Turkey

2010-11-24T19:06:00.002-05:00

Fair enough, I don't eat the turkey. But this is what I'm always most excited about:

Happy Thanksgiving

Fun with Promos

2010-11-20T15:00:00.002-05:00

For those "Why didn't I think of that?" moments:

Anne Holmes and Lily Ladewig's chapbook I am a Natural Wonder (Blue Hour Press) is slated to hit your computer screens this month. To celebrate this collaboration, write a Natural Wonder poem of your own and read others here.

In preparation for Mel Bosworth's novella Freight, Folded Word asks "What are you carrying?" and is accepting art, writing, and video submissions for consideration in a companion e-book.

Think about it. Write about it. Watch this book trailer while you're at it.

Ides of November

2010-11-15T14:21:00.004-05:00

I'm so excited to be included in the the November Issue of PANK. You can check out three of my shorts (or listen to them) here. Or get into a little rhythm. Or check out a dynamic duo. Or really, just read the whole damn thing. While you're at it, order Issue 5. Big thanks to Roxane and the rest of the PANK staff.

Keyhole Issue 10 deserves a nice home. You deserve to read fine writers like Chris Bachelder, Leni Zumas, Ben Loory, Dan Magers, James Tadd Adcox, Mike Young, and--wow--lots more. Pre-orders available now. Give Gabe Durham a virtual hug while you're at it. Nice work, Chief.

Finally, xtx's chapbook He is Talking to the Fat Lady has a limited run. Get one while you still can (if you still can).

The Ides of November are way more awesome. And have much less senate murder.

This is What Makes Me Want to Write Stories

2010-11-11T17:25:00.003-05:00

Let this bear chasing this bison keep you company while I'm in Brooklyn this weekend, visiting Lily Ladewig and listening to Luke Bloomfield.

Thanks for this link, Landman.

In Which I Howl and Embarrass Myself

2010-11-06T10:18:00.000-04:00

The folks at Emprise Review were not only kind enough to publish my story "Summer in a Glass" in Issue 17, but they've also featured me reading it on this edition of Emprise Radio. Hear me turn my favorite whale joke into a coyote joke.

Emprise 17 is killer so stay tuned for more of these.

While you're listening, you can order the latest issues of PANK (Whattup, Goodman, xTx, and Sparks) and Annalemma (Get some Gay and even more Sparks).

Then read the Keyhole Editor Interview over at Duotrope and send us something good.

I'm gonna click over to submishmash and look for it now.

Feliz Dia De Los Muertos

2010-11-01T15:08:00.000-04:00

God, I wish we celebrated this holiday!

To be fair, at Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic School, we dressed up on All Souls Day instead of Halloween. But instead of witches, we had to dress up as saints...

Anyway.

Post-Halloween Scary Review

Scary Good: The new Emprise Review is scary awesome. Mel Bosworth, xTx, featured writer Matt Bell, a little bit from me, and many others. Big thanks to Amber and Patrick.

Scary Bad: Paranormal Activity might be the lamest scary movie I've ever seen.

Scary Good: New Dark Sky, new Softblow.

Scary Bad: No trick-or-treaters on Orchard St.

Scary Good: Homemade slutty penguin costume (I looked more like a penguin in the cast of Chicago really.)

Scary Bad: slutty panda actually exists now. Apparently, slutty Nemo does too.

Halloween Craft Time

2010-10-30T14:34:00.001-04:00

With just a markers, paper, and tape,

you can turn a simple winter hat

into the beginning of your slutty penguin costume.

Off to assemble the rest. Happy Halloween, y'all.

Hey, Guys, What'd I Miss?

2010-10-26T16:54:00.000-04:00

Student conferences, parents in town, some strange 24-hour (I hope) stomach bug. Eek! I've fallen behind and so many things have happened.

I just talked to my students about reading deeply, but here's the Cliff's Notes version:

We finally conquered our inbox, and you can expect Keyhole Issue 10 in November. While you wait, submit! Submissions are not only open, but now new-and-submishmash-improved.

The Queer Issue of Pank is out (and check out this fine attention they got from Poets & Writers)

Sparks and Durlow interview each other

xTx writes about, you can probably guess.

So many people I love have poems up at H_NGM_N (Foley, Thompson, Cabrera, Fjeld, more). Check it out and love them too.

New Foundling Review, Events issue. This is nice, and so is this.

The Last Lamination Colony (more xTx, more Sparks, Lasky, Leidner, Adcox, more and more and more)

New Collagist, fab as always

Giant interview

Giant plug

And even though I've been out of the loop, Dark Sky and Mel Bosworth keep my chapbook in it. Thanks, guys.

Books Books New Books

2010-10-13T12:19:00.000-04:00

Click images for more.

Buy, attend, celebrate announcements.

Monster on Jellyfish

2010-10-09T12:37:00.001-04:00

The Hopeless Monster now has his own poem online. You should also check out C.S. Ward, David Bartone, Nate Pritts, and many more. Big thanks to Gale and Jellyfish!

6 in 6

2010-10-07T13:32:00.000-04:00

The good folks at Supermachine invited me to be part of 6 Readers in Six Minutes. We'll be opening for 3 Readers in ? Minutes:

Douglas Piccinnini

Christie Ann Reynolds

Ben Fama

Bring your dancing shoes because Pam Finch will be spinning.

*This Sat, Oct 9* *7pm* *Flying Object*

AND

Dark Sky Magazine not only has a new look, new book, and new issue, but they also announced the winner of their Chapbook Contest. Congrats to Greg and big thanks to Dark Sky for listing me as a runner-up.

Reading Under the Comforter

2010-10-04T11:43:00.001-04:00

I've been craving fall since July, but I forgot that it gets cold in the fall. My temporary cat roommate and I have been planning class under the comforter all morning. We've also been reading some new online issues of:

Hobart
elimae
SOFTBLOW (You might find some of my poems there.)

We've also been reading the new-and-improved Dark Sky Magazine (New look! Writing from Gabe Durham, Jensen Beach, Molly Gaudry, Mel Bosworth and many more. Ethel Rohan's book. A bear!)

We were also discussing how great Eugene Ostashevsky's reading was at the huge Flying Object opening last Friday. "One word," Mr. Blue said to me. "Peepeesaurus."

You can listen to him read here.

I'm going to miss my temporary roommate but, judging by this picture, I think he'll live.

October October October

2010-10-01T08:53:00.000-04:00

What can I say, it's my favorite month.

How to End September:

1) Assign "Consider the Lobster" to your Freshman Comp class. They will call it too long and scattered. They will say David Foster Wallace needs to learn how to write an essay.

But teach it anyway.

2) Uncover your final artifact at Necessary Fiction, then check out the Ancient City in its entirety. Thanks Amber Sparks for her awesomeness.

How to Start October:

Attend Flying Object's Grand Opening.

Check out their upcoming events, too

Reading Season: Officially Open

2010-09-23T19:15:00.000-04:00

It's late September, and that means the start of Reading Season here in the Pioneer Valley. Sometimes, there are so many readings, I have to cut myself off. But summer's been long. Bring on the words and the after-beer.

*This Fri, September 24*
LIVE LIT
feat. Greg Purcell, Sara Majka, Kristen Evans, Bryan Beck, & Kate Litter
8pm Amherst Books

*Thurs, September 30*
BERNADETTE MAYER
8pm Memorial Hall (UMass, part of the Visiting Writer's Series)

*Sat, October 1*
FLYING OBJECT GRAND OPENING & READING
feat Eugene Ostashevsky, Christian Hawkey & Uljana Wolf, Amanda Nadelberg, and Jono Tosch **rumored special guests and dance floor**
**artwork by Susan Metrican**

Just got back from seeing the restored Metropolis at Amherst Cinema. Off to contemplate the actual political stance and my missed calling as a silent film star.

While I'm doing that, check out the bad news then the good news.

How to Work on a Saturday

2010-09-18T12:05:00.000-04:00

Need to comment on 30 essays in the next 3 days? 10 a day is totally doable, right? Oh, you haven't started yet? Started blogging instead, I see. Maybe you should follow these rules of positive reinforcement:

1) It already feels like fall so walk downtown to the farmer's market.
2) Make a big sustainable breakfast.
3) Use this.
4) Use this.
5) Take a break and read this.
6) This just landed in your mailbox so read it too.
7) Use this.
8) Order this.
9) Read this
10) And this
11) Use this.

By now, you've made very thorough comments on at least 2 essays. Nice work. Reward yourself with a beer.

Sick of the Old Age of Ferociousness?

2010-09-12T18:53:00.000-04:00

Sounds like you need the New Age of Ferociousness. Agnes Fox Press announces the release of Jeannie Hoag's new chapbook. Beautiful hand-sewn books. Ferocious poems by everyone's dream librarian.

When I was first learning what poetry was (I am still learning what poetry is), I heard Jeannie read at Amherst Books. I remember thinking afterward, "Hey, these poem things? I think I want to write them. But only if I can make them as amazing as those poem things."

I am still trying.

Your thoughts may be a little more eloquent, but just as heartfelt.

Read more of Jeannie here.

Buy her book here.

AND and and--if you haven't explored Amber Sparks' Ancient City at Necessary Fiction yet, what is wrong with you? Great work up from Salvatore Pane, Mel Bosworth, and many others.

Excavation

2010-09-09T13:34:00.000-04:00

Amber Sparks is doing some excavating over at Necessary Fiction this month. Learn more about The Ancient City and check out the Artifacts, including a little piece by me, she's turned up so far. Big thanks, Amber.

More to come all month.

Summer Made Me Forget About the Kitchen

2010-09-07T22:29:00.000-04:00

My roommate has stolen enough grapes to make jam.

I'm baking granola, but I bought all the ingredients.

We've both taught our first class in the same building, and the house smells fantastic.

It was in the high 80s today, but I feel fall coming. I added cinnamon.

Speaking of, Back to School and Cinnamon come together this Thurs at the Rendezvous:
8pm Sept 9
The Cinnamon Urns

New songs by Mike
New band members
Same lovely Gale
Same serious oboe
A venue that's not a living room!

I don't do much, but if you're lucky, I'll play a bottle of pills. And I am genuinely that enthusiastic about my "Oh Yeah"s.

In a Valley Full of Pioneers

2010-09-01T10:04:00.000-04:00

Classes start back at UMass on Tues.

Getting the syllabus together. Ready for a regular paycheck again. Not so ready to defend this thesis, but getting there.

In MFA news, Route 9, the journal of the UMass Amherst Creative Writing MFA, is live. Check out a reprint of my story The Attractive Man, along with other goodies from Matthew Zapruder, Leni Zumas, Emily Hunt, and others.

Visiting Writers Series for '10-'11 has been announced. If you're in the area, or close, check em out.

9/30 Bernadette Mayer(!!!)

10/21 Michael Knight

11/18 Michael Earl Craig & Natalie Lyalin

12/2 Lance Olsen

1/20 Aimee Bender (!!!)

2/17 Matthew Rohrer

3/10 David Means

4/7 Brandon Downing

Back to planning and settling in to my new place.

How + How = $19.99

2010-08-19T13:40:00.000-04:00

Pre-order mania continues.

Great deal over at Keyhole:
Aaron Burch's How to Predict the Weather (cover by Emily B. Goodale) and Matt Bell's How They Were Found for only $19.99, including shipping. Yes and yes.

Pee on Water

2010-08-16T15:37:00.000-04:00

Finally up for pre-order, Pee On Water by Rachel B. Glaser.

I had my first MFA fiction workshop with Rachel, and many after that. Her stories wow me every time. I ordered mine. You try.

While we wait by our mailboxes, we can read the new issues of:

PANK

Annalemma

Word Riot

the Collagist

and

matchbook

Dream-Away Lodge

2010-08-14T21:34:00.000-04:00

First of all, read Gabe Durham and Jensen Beach. Then, read this book I just uncovered.

Done? Okay.

I found a new reason to love Massachusetts:

Find the Dream-Away here. Find more art from Annie Bissett here.

BRAINS!

2010-08-09T09:04:00.000-04:00

What's Summer without Zombies and unrequited love?

Check out my ridiculous piece and the awesome picture that goes with it in today's edition of Zombie Summer.

Thanks to xTx for putting this together and for including me.

And August

2010-08-06T11:29:00.001-04:00

August happened without my permission. But it brings the promise that I can make it without central air. It also bring some great readings:

Great reading at the Brookline Booksmith run by We Are Champion: Jonathan Papas, Carolyn Zaikowski, Mike Young, Blake Butler, Rachel B. Glaser, Anne Cecelia Holmes, Sasha Fletcher. They killed it. Click, click to buy or pre-order their books.

Also, check out new issues of Hobart, elimae, Quick Fiction, and check out who's Mr. August at American Short Fiction.

And also, Sunglass-stealer and New York Tyrant, Luke Goebel, is the guest editor of Everyday Genius this month. One of my How to Catch a Coyote shorts, "Flood Plain", is on the homepage today. Big thanks, Luke!

My Girlfriend is a Cat

2010-07-27T22:07:00.000-04:00

As you may know, I somehow landed a summer camp job teaching improv comedy to gifted kids. We're about halfway in and have officially named our improv troop My Girlfriend is a Cat.

My Girlfriend is a Cat is full of middle school angst.

My Girlfriend is a Cat is visiting from China and a little confused about some of these games.

My Girlfriend is a Cat is lead by a not-so-fearless leader.

My Girlfriend is a Cat is really nervous about its date to the dance this Friday.

My Girlfriend is a Cat is full of energy and embarrassment.

My Girlfriend is a Cat deserves professionally made t-shirts for its show next week, but--with this year's budget--will have to settle for the not-so-fearless leader's handmade bleach shirts.

On with the show! Or whatever you improv people say. I guess you just make up what you say.

Get On It!

2010-07-21T17:53:00.000-04:00

Pre-orders are now open:

Look! Look! Feathers by Mike Young (yes, another one!) is coming soon from Word Riot. Check out the Fredrick Barthleme blurb.

Grease, Stains, Kismet, and Maternal Wisdom by Mel Bosworth is coming soon from Aqueous Books. Check out the doodle on the cover.

I've ordered mine. Your turn. Get on it!

Because Summer is a Quiet Place

2010-07-14T10:41:00.000-04:00

Here's some noise:

From Women and Other Animals by Bonnie Joe Campbell (snatched from the Bookmill):

"Though Big Joanie senses something is wrong, she does not turn to look at the tiger."

"She has never looked squarely into the faces of frightened girls."

"She took the box of ashes up to where she had been digging, dumped them loose into the hole, and covered them with dirt, as though she expected him to grow again next year."

"Jesus couldn't have breasts, but if he had them, they'd be like hers."

Song Cave brings it's ninth edition of noise.

AND make some of your own noise to win some for the next quiet summer.

Some Nice Things About the End of June

2010-07-01T09:25:00.000-04:00

1) Foley at Softblow

2) Durham at Pank

3) Bosworth at Necessary Fiction

4) Zumas and Baldi at matchbook

5) New Staff at Keyhole (Hey, look!)

6) Dogs added to my house-sitting gig

7) Chipmunks on the deck

8) Hiking across the street

Summer Reading II

2010-07-01T08:25:00.000-04:00

New books, books I've meant to read for a year, re-read books, books I'm supposed to be reading.

The Black Eye by Brian Foley

Handmade by the folks as Brave Men Press, designed by Emily B. Goodale.

Poems to read during the blue hour.

Toothpick

No sign of the woodcutter
Just a never ending field of stumps.
Seized in stocks of chill blue earth
Their bare backs bent like a knuckle
As if a king this way comes
Picking their teeth with their mothers

We Are All Good if They Try Hard Enough by Mike Young

Cover by Mike and Rachel B. Glaser

Poems to read at 3am in a Waffle House. In your boxers.

"This feeling is called kiss me. This feeling is called hi.
But maybe you're not thinking of anything. I've thought
about that."

How to Take Yourself Apart
How to Make Yourself Anew
by Aaron Burch

Sharp, short, recursive prose. Instructions, deconstructions, and paper cranes.

"I can’t hold small objects – shoelaces, zippers, necklace clasps. I wish I could again hold her hand. I wish I could pick up a piece of paper and a pen, write a note, then fold the paper into what I’d always promised I’d show her how to make."

Big World by Mary Miller

I found this in a pile of misplaced books, and I'm so glad did. Characters full of spit. Modern southern women who the say things you never would but kind of wish you did.

"When I take care of them, my only goal is to keep them alive but I don't bother with them now because Courtney's here and it they crack their heads open it's all on her."

As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner

One of my friends is reading this for a lit class and I decided to give it another look. I liked it when I was 16, but I don't think I really got it. This time, I found myself reading it out loud. I found myself telling an empty room how good it was.

"Jackson is further away than crazy"

So I somehow landed a job teaching improv to kids at a summer camp. My first order of business: Learn what improv is.

"The head has no energy. The X-area is the source of energy."

Hoo boy, here we go.

Coming Soon to an Amherst Near You

2010-06-15T18:51:00.000-04:00

Juniper Initiative Reading Series '10

*Find these readings at Bezanson Hall in the FAC of UMass.
*Hear these readings at 7:30pm and on.
*Donate $5-10 (but, hey, it's free) so this summer program can keep reading to you and teaching you to write.

June 20: James Tate & Joy Williams

June 21: Stephen Graham Jones & Heather Christle

June 22: Mark Doty & Noy Holland

June 23: Matthew Zapruder, Lisa Olstein & Michael Kimball

June 24: Thomas Sayers Ellis & Leni Zumas

June 25: Charles D’Ambrosio & Dara Wier

June 26: Paul Lisicky & Alex Phillips

**Bonus: Watch me try not to make an ass of myself when I try to talk to Joy Williams.**

Thursday Screening

2010-06-09T16:20:00.000-04:00

TOMORROW, June 10
Grey Matter Books
8pm
Songs from the Second Floor
based on the poems of Caesar Vallejo.

Firsties!

2010-06-05T11:02:00.000-04:00

To go along with Hobart's June Issue, the Hopeless Monster's often-linked-to J ensen Beach hosted a roundtable on first books. Great read, covering interesting topics, both big and indie. Read the roundtable. Read the books.

feat: Jed Berry, Mike Young, Rachel B Glaser, Roxane Gay, more, and more.

More firsties:
Call shotgun by pre-ordering these books:
**Julia Holmes Meeks**
**Mike Young We Are All Good If They Try Hard Enough **
** Rachel B Glaser Pee on Water (it says preorder, but I haven't been able to find an actual order button. Coming soon. I think.) **

Firsties for you:
Submit your own fiction chapbook to Dark Sky

Someone's mowing outside my window. It smells nice.

Jelly Rollin'

2010-05-31T16:44:00.000-04:00

Snack? Blues? Poems!

featuring some of my favorite people and yours.

**Heather Christle**
**Jamie Iredell**
**Lily Ladewig**
**Natlie Lyalin**
**Jono Tosch**
**Mike Young**
**more**

Jelly Roll Recipe
Jelly Roll Listenin'

Yum.

Summer Reading

2010-05-27T16:13:00.000-04:00

This is Just Exactly Like You by Drew Perry
Domestic dramas don't have to be boring. Mulch and giant fiberglass sea creatures help.

"What's that you got there," Jack asks him.
"A dust," Hen says, and for the moment there he is, looking dead at Jack, a six-year-old like any other. "I have got a dust."

The Tide by Jessica Fjeld
Beautifully handmade book, beautiful dark and funny poems. Pinup girl meets Armageddon.

What I Found in Mexico

Flossing your teeth is hard on top of a great shifting mass of water. I can do it, but it makes my gums bleed. Sometimes I wear a sharp black hat I fished up one afternoon when we were moving through what I think was Mexico.

Other Electricities by Ander Monson
Obsessions, schematics, kids lost to murder and ice and Michigan. Read it this spring, had to read it again. Good to keep you cool.

Elizabeth, Journey fan, good and experimental kisser, left the world with the radio on, which is something, we suppose.

More to come.

Activities on a Rainy Day

2010-05-19T08:51:00.000-04:00

At least you can read:

My Short "The Future of Family Radio" is up at Necessary Fiction today. Thanks for the good home, Steve.

Jack Christian's poems are fun.

So is Jensen Beach in Spanish.

So is Matt Bell writing a story.

So is attending a reading
Jono Tosch and Matt Suss
**Tonight** May 19, 7:30pm
Green Street Cafe, Northampton

And so is being a woman writer:

Bzz

2010-05-11T09:48:00.000-04:00

My poem "Okay, Bee Sting" was posted by the good people of Juked today.

A poem. Who knew?

Thanks, John and Lindsay!

Interns, Graduates, and Chapbooks

2010-05-10T10:50:00.000-04:00

Dear Western Mass,

Poems and stories are being read to you this week.

Two at the Voo:

1)

2) UMass MFA Grads read. I try not to cry and miss them too much.

**emily rae** **luke bloomfield** **lily ladewig** **jamie berger** **jessica fjeld ** **brian mihok** **boomer pinches** **mike young** **gabe durham** **maybe others**

Weds. 5/12, 8pm

AND

Book Launch Reading for Season Four of Pilot Books.

**Jessica Fjeld ** ** Emily Pettit ** ** Martin Rock**

Thurs. 5/13, 8pm
Amherst Books

15 out of 19 College Students Prefer Hobart 11

2010-05-05T20:55:00.000-04:00

My fiction students were surprisingly more of a challenge than my comp kids, but I had some fabulous sentence slingers in the bunch. We ended our readings with a visit from UMass and Hobart's own Jensen Beach and took a look at Hobart 11: The Great Outdoors. Most of my students had no experience with lit mags, and they loved the issue. If you haven't picked it up, don't take my word for it.

Here's what some of my students had to say (click on links for web extras):

"Person, Place, or Thing" by Eliza Tudor: The piece seems to scan the entire span of a life....But this isn't done tediously; rather, the small bursts of paragraphs make for a great, albeit dismally sad, read.

Gymnopedies by Scott Garson: These pieces are examples of great writing in small spaces. My favorite was "Duluth" for all that it was, but the others have more of my favorite lines. "Mississippi River" has my favorite: "Children fresh from baths would want to touch our faces."

"Interested" by Lydia Conklin: It feels like a sadder, less wordy, postmodern version of one of those Calvin & Hobbes strips where the woods play blurry backdrop to Calvin's rambling philosophical ennui....Layered, but so so relatable - I loved this one.

“An Encyclopedia of Urban Farming” by Steve Himmer: What a good way to end the journal.... I mean, c'mon how is that not a little bit crushing and simultaneously beautiful? Our connection to nature is so false. We decorate walls and call it nature. We write lit-journals about nature in stuffy apartments and call it nature.

And if you're not convinced yet, take this student's word for it:
OMGAWD!!! Hobart is so cool, I know; right?

Let's assume he was being ironic.

Good job, students. Back to grading you. Teaching is hard. But so are a lot of things.

Bonnie

2010-05-05T00:13:00.000-04:00

Classes are over and weather is warm, breezy, slightly crazy. Makes me listen to this.

And miss the South. This is nothing like the South I know.

Hot Fun in the Summer Time

2010-05-01T18:25:00.000-04:00

I have to remind myself it's not summer by season or by academic calendar, but--man, folks--with this weather and no more drafts to read, it sure feels like it.

What summer holds for me (accepting applications for partners in crime):

Ignoring my suburban upbringing and getting outside, discovering all those mountains and swimming holes in these parts
Reading, reading, reading. So far behind and would love your suggestions
Getting this damn thesis to look like a thesis
Finding a sunny apartment close to downtown Noho (know one? talk to me)
Something about a summer camp job
Getting back to cooking, and getting back to the farmer's markets--I'm no Jono Tosch, but here's my start:

tofu cabbage wraps with homemade peanut sauce. No homework = yum.

What your fake summer holds right now:

Chapbook from everybody's favorite poet law student, Jess Fjeld
A nice cool Popsicle (of sorts) from Jensen Beach
What's summer without a trip to Fun Camp (Durham is unstoppable)
A big ol' hat and a mint julep to cheer on Super Saver

2 Days to Celebrate 10 Years

2010-04-20T21:15:00.000-04:00

10th ANNUAL JUNIPER LITERARY FESTIVAL
Celebrating 10 Years of jubilat

Don't miss:

Fri 7:30 pm:
University Gallery: Jen Bervin, Christian Hawkey, & Michael Teig
**followed by the premier of a performance based on Christopher Smart's “Jubilate Agno,” staged by Missoula Oblongata**

Sat 3 pm:
Amherst Cinema Arts Center: Terrance Hayes, Caroline Knox, Dean Young, & Matthew Zapruder

Fri & Sat:
BOOK FAIR* featuring:
A Public Space, Action, Amherst Books, Adventures in Poetry, Aufgabe, Bateau, Black Ocean, Boston Review, The Canary, Canarium, Clockroot, Conjunctions, Factory Hollow Press, Forklift, Ohio, H_NGM_N, Hobart, Jellyfish, jubilat, Kelly Writers' House, Kenyon Review, Magic Helicopter, Massachusetts Review, Microfilme, Noo, Nor by Press, notnostrums, Now Culture, Open City, Paris Press, PennSound, Pilot Press, Pocket Myths, Poetry Northwest, Poetry Society of America, Publishing Genius, Rain Taxi, Schoen Books, Slope Editions, Small Beer Press, Thermos, Ugly Duckling Presse, Walser Society, Wave Books, Zephyr Press

*Come to the opening reception and you may hear the Cinnamon Urns sing a song or ten. You're not sick of hearing me sing "I Wish I Was the Moon" yet, are ya? You are? Hmm.

Short Hair, Patterned Tights, Big Earrings, and Poems

2010-04-13T22:30:00.001-04:00

You can expect all of these things tomorrow when Anne Holmes and I read po'ms (okay, so I might slip in some tiny fiction).
Tomorrow (4/14) * 7:30pm * Green Street Cafe * Northampton

Bet a dollar you can't tell us apart.

Post-AWP and the writing goodness keeps coming:

*notnostrums IV is out and full of superstars

*monster on matchbook

*the Fun Camp never stops

*The bear is full of people at GlitterPony

*and--WHAT--Rae Armantrout wins the Pulitzer

yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes

Found Text

2010-04-12T22:45:00.001-04:00

Louisville Public Library--Louisville, CO

If you've heard of my nephew Zachary, you probably can tell which quote is his. Other quotes I've collected from my nephews this weekend:
"I feel new today."
"All in a day's work. All in a day's works is a silly word when you haven't saved lives."
"I think that lady is the kind of lady I would like to have as a wife when I'm older. I can tell because of the way she sounds."

If I don't use these in the next six months, I'll let you have them.

Exhausted and excited after AWP. Brought home lots of great books, met and caught up with many wonderful writers and editors, had lots of words read to me, didn't let the Altitude get me down. Hoo boy, see ya in DC, folks.

Stress Ball Goes to the Mile High City

2010-04-07T21:45:00.000-04:00

Phew! Off to AWP tomorrow!

I think I've finished everything I needed to get done. Except the packing part. hmmm.

Gonna miss out on a ton of great readings and panels and parties on Thurs, but looking forward to Fri and Sat:

Indie Mags: Publishing Outside of MFA Programs and Other Institutional Support. (J.W. Wang, Aaron Burch, Dave Clapper, Mike Young, Jennifer Flescher, Blake Butler)

The Southern Review 75th Anniversary Reading. (Jeanne Leiby, David Kirby, Sydney Lea, Steve Almond, Bonnie Jo Campbell, Beth Ann Fennelly)

jubilat 10th Anniversary Reading. (Robert Casper, Dara Wier, Lisa Olstein, Jen Bervin, Peter Gizzi, Cathy Park Hong)

A Chorus of Hauntings: Giving Breath to Ghosts. (Deborah Poe, Cole Swensen, Jake Adam York, Brandon Shimoda, Selah Saterstrom, Claudia Smith)

And all the book fair dealzz.

At night, I'm torn between so many readings and so many beers. Black Warrior? Tarpaulin Sky? Hobart? Barrelhouse? Fence? I'm just going to say yes.

But I'm most excited to see these monsters (if you guess which one named my blog, I'll bring ya something back from the book fair):

While I'm gone, check out some hobart, some jellyfish, some best of the web. and amazingness for a small donation.

Let's see how much of a stress ball I'll be when I get back.

Egg Hunt

2010-04-04T10:25:00.000-04:00

Happy Zombie Jesus Day!

I've hidden some eggs around here for you. See if you can find them.

grassgrassgrasselimaegrassgrassgrassgrassgrassgrassgrassgrassBunnygrassgrassChocolate
grassfuncamp
grassgrassgrassgrassnooweeklyBunnygrassgrassrockgrassflowergrassweedlostsemester